Why Ignorance Isn't Bliss

So now I'm done the training, and waiting for Sunday is starting to make my stomach turn.

all this... not running... is giving me time to worry about mistakes I might have made or will make and everything in between. And another thing: I've realized I've avoided a lot of resources that might help me. In the beginning I was afraid (yes, that's not an over-exaggerating adjective) afraid to look up more about marathon theory. Namely because I thought it would be intimidating, that I would not be able to train as hard as plans suggests or want to challenge myself to that extent. Now I'm discovering that the more I research the better I feel. Knowing the mistakes people make before races is soothing my worry by helping me not make the same ones. All the tips and training ideas, they sure would have given me more comfort earlier. I don't know who I thought I was helping by hiding under a rock for this e-wellspring of information we call the internet.

I want to do this right, so would it really hurt to sneak in a little extra last minute research? Any suggestions?

Kate Thompson Run[s]!

Yesterday my friend Liz and I went on our last weekday run together. 5 or so easy miles through the marshes, and ending at Rita's Water Ice. I still have 18 or so miles tomorrow (*gulp*), but that will be both our last run together and my last run at Penn State for the year.

I bumped into some members from the xc club yesterday as I waited to meet my trainer and friend Marie for my last weight lifting session. One member told me he was looking to qualify for the Boston marathon, told me about all the other times girls from the club are hoping to hit.

"Break four, at least," he said, when I asked what a good time for a girl was.

I've trained so hard for so long. I feel the emotional distance I come is akin to the physical. And I think my greatest sign of maturity would be to take this race as it goes. To resist the urge to put a goal up. To take pride and contentment in my own progress without comparing myself to others. That's something I've never sucessfully done before.

Yet, I still feel nervous that I won't be satisfied without breaking four now. I'm coming down on my last few weeks of training, tappering into a week of pre-race rest. I just want to be content, but, maybe even after this whole experiment, I'm not sure what contentment means for me.