Yesterday my friend Liz and I went on our last weekday run together. 5 or so easy miles through the marshes, and ending at Rita's Water Ice. I still have 18 or so miles tomorrow (*gulp*), but that will be both our last run together and my last run at Penn State for the year.
I bumped into some members from the xc club yesterday as I waited to meet my trainer and friend Marie for my last weight lifting session. One member told me he was looking to qualify for the Boston marathon, told me about all the other times girls from the club are hoping to hit.
"Break four, at least," he said, when I asked what a good time for a girl was.
I've trained so hard for so long. I feel the emotional distance I come is akin to the physical. And I think my greatest sign of maturity would be to take this race as it goes. To resist the urge to put a goal up. To take pride and contentment in my own progress without comparing myself to others. That's something I've never sucessfully done before.
Yet, I still feel nervous that I won't be satisfied without breaking four now. I'm coming down on my last few weeks of training, tappering into a week of pre-race rest. I just want to be content, but, maybe even after this whole experiment, I'm not sure what contentment means for me.
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